Ok ESPN, listen up.
You are about 3 weeks away before you launch your “March Madness” campaign and start over-analyzing teams and top 25 and RPI and Dick Vitale’s hair line and all the bubbles. Mention the school with the hottest cheerleaders every once in a while will you?
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| Now That's a DUNK! |
Favor 1: DO NOT INVITE THE “President of the United States” TO THE STUDIO TO FILL OUT AN NCAA BRACKET!
We all know he’s only in it for Warren Buffett’s “Billion Dollar Challenge.”
Favor 2: DO NOT DO ANY COMMERCIAL PARODIES OF SPORTS MOVIES, SKITS, SCENARIOS WITH A WARDROBE, OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE!
This form of comedy was made famous by the College Gameday crew, perfected by the Baseball Tonight crew, and ruined by Digger Phelps and Jay Bilas.
If a 13 year old kid filling out his first tourney bracket engulfs an eyeful of you 2 fossils dressed up like USC Color-guard and flag girls, not only is he an automatic introvert in college, but you ruined all fantasy porn for him.
You don’t have to be funny to be effective, trust me, I know where of I speak. Stick with what you know. Stats, probabilities, upset notices, who’s hot, who’s injured, you know, REPORT!
You don’t have to be funny to be effective, trust me, I know where of I speak. Stick with what you know. Stats, probabilities, upset notices, who’s hot, who’s injured, you know, REPORT!
Leave the attempts at getting a few laughs to Frank Caliendo and Jimmy Fallon, because between the 2 of them, they get a few per week.
A few is 3.
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| Where will Da 'Cuse wind up? |
Leave the attempts at getting a few laughs to Frank Caliendo and Jimmy Fallon, because between the 2 of them, they get a few per week.
A few is 3.
Take my advice and just show up to work, don’t dance Digger, don’t pretend you can still play Jay Bilas, just report.
NOW...When March Madness does start, you can do whatever you want on network, because the games are not covered by ESPN.
NOW...When March Madness does start, you can do whatever you want on network, because the games are not covered by ESPN.
We get Kevin Harlan, Jim Nance, Gus Johnson, Clark Kellogg, Brent Musberger (might be trying to bight a linebacker wearing granny panties, but better than Vitale) and Sean McDonough. Those guys can call a game. If I had a wish for March Madness 2014, it would be that Harry Doyle calls 2 of the final 4 games AND the National Championship. Yeah, Harry Doyle and Monty with a bottle of Jack. That would make my year!
Good luck friends and here’s a little nugget if you want it...
Every team in the NCAA Tournament stands to make money. Some more than others. Warren Buffett’s Billion could spread a long way.
If you offered each school in the tourney 12 million, you could still wrangle 81 million of your own. Maybe worth the corruption that is obvious in college sports for some “University money.”
Everybody’s gotta eat.
Till Next Time...
A.C.
www.gerrydailey21.wix.com/theunionxpress
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