A.C. RANTED: February-Superbowl-Sherman Torched 2x

As January 2014 winds down with all of it’s nationwide cold, snow, mall shootings, the State of the Union Address, terrorism, home invasions, etc., I’d like to say thank God for February. Well, at least February 2nd, the day of the Superbowl. 

The pinnacle of the sport pitting the best offense against the best defense in the WORST possible environment. Great. What did we miss at Media Day? 

Here’s what I heard...  

Peyton Manning and Barry Switzer had a “Neck Lurch” contest. It was a 3 way tie between them and the zombie faced kid who made the words “I like turtles” famous. 

Richard Sherman was at the podium for quite a while, with a camera, and every picture he took of the reporter who asked him a question, he tweeted “How dare you talk about me! You are a mediocre reporter AT BEST and that’s what you get.” He was later escorted from the event center for continuously slapping everybody’s fanny. 

Pete Carroll said a few words about the importance of chewing gum so intensely, that it could end world hunger. 

Bill Belichick was in the building selling Wes Welker jerseys under the pseudonym:

Welk-Er-Cheats... 

Apparently he had foreign paperwork granting him diplomatic immunity, I really don’t trust that guy. 

Finally, Percy Harvin showed up in the Pope Mobile to protect him against human contact, wind, fruit flies, lunch, arithmetic, electrical static from a microphone, and water, to name a few things that could devastate this offensive “weapon” from taking the field on Sunday. 

This is not my point. 

What else does February have to offer after the Superbowl? 

Yep! Valentines Day. 

A married man usually has a good handle on this. An engaged man has a better handle on it. The man that just started dating a girl is wishy washy, and borderline panic. The man having casual sex with multiple partners laid the groundwork that February 14 means nothing so don’t even think about it, and he has the best handle of them all. 

The single guy will buy heart shaped boxes of chocolates, get hammered, and eat all those chocolates and write poems to that girl in high school he never had the sack to ask to the prom. Stats will show that 63% of couples that do “something special” for Valentines Day, have a higher divorce rate than those who just view it as another day. 

Disclaimer: 71% of my stats are made up without any market research or poll taking, and 38% of the time I am wrong, but hey, it’s about a relationship, not something serious like a sporting event!

I picked Denver and Seattle in the preseason if I haven’t mentioned it already.

I like Denver 34 – 24, and Sherman get’s torched twice! 

That's Right Dickie!

Do you know what I got my wife for Valentine’s Day before we got divorced? Divorce papers. How romantic.

See you soon...

A.C.